Librarian Recommended

Sometimes library people say and do the darndest things. Here are some of my favorites.

Proof of Address:

“Patron: “Hi! I would like to get a library card please.”

Me: “Sure! I just need to see your picture I.D.”

Patron: “Ok, they told me I needed proof of address because my I.D. is from out of town, so I took a picture of my house. It’s right here on my phone.”

We Don’t Accept Those Here, Sir:

Patron comes up to the circulation desk and says he is having trouble getting his card to work on the self-checkouts. He then hands me his book and his Fry’s VIP discount card. I had to explain to him that a Fry’s VIP card is not, in fact, a library card.

A Difference of Perspective:

Patron: “There’s something wrong with this guest pass, it won’t let me log in as a patron.

Me: “With a pass, you need to log in as a guest, not as a patron.”

Patron: (a short time later): “It won’t let me log in as a guest either. Can you come show me?”

Me: *goes with patron to the computer* “Ok, show me what you did.” 

Patron: *starts typing*

Me: “Um, You know you’re holding that upside down right?”

Patron: “Oh. No wonder it looked weird. I’m a moron. Sorry.”

A Light Snack:

A patron came up to the service desk holding a handful of chopped up broccoli. 

He told us he had spotted another patron looking at porn (he was, we verified), then walked into men’s bathroom, still holding his handful of broccoli. He did his business and walked out several minutes later, broccoli still in hand, which he then proceeded to dip into the jar of peanut butter he also produced as if from nowhere and enjoy a light snack.

This Happens EVERY DAY:

Patron: “Can you help me print this please?”

Me: “Sure, just go ahead and click on the little picture of the printer.”

Patron: “Oh. I have to do it? You’re not going to do it for me?”

Me: “Haha, no, we’re going to teach you to do it.”

Patron: “Seriously, I have to learn? Is that a rule with all libraries? Because they told me the same thing in Seattle. I just wanted them to do it for me.”